Travel Stories >> Florence (Firenze) >> Wedding Words

WEDDING WORDS

RACHEL AND ROGER - - MAY 1, 1998

….spoken at the wedding of Rachel Peterson and Roger Bird in Florence Italy, Reverend James Standard officiating at La Chiesa Cristiana Evangelica Battista.

First a brief greeting to congregation by Rev. James Standard.

Then, the thoughts about love and marriage by the parents of the bride:

DAVID PETERSON:

Buon Giorno! I am pleased to offer to each of you here this morning a most warm and cordial greeting. Your extraordinary effort in arranging to be here with us, flatters and honors us, and we thank you profoundly for coming. We've been asked to open this ceremony with some thoughts about love and marriage. We've had quite a few of our own, but prefer to share some which are better expressed by others:

JEANETTE PETERSON: On Love…

Love is the flame that leads a person from solitude to union, and the wedding is the "ritual of passage" between. This flame has the power to impel a person out of one life into another. This solitude, this union, are two distinct worlds. To travel the distance between, as on any great voyage, is to know anxiety and to pay a price. The traveler must relinquish one's self so a new one may be reborn - to exchange certain satisfactions for new and deeper ones. …..Eleanor Munro

Sonnet CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove :
Oh, no! It is an ever-fixed mark.
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his vending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this is error, and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. … William Shakespeare

You are my beloved.
My feet shall run because of you.
My feet, dance because of you.
My heart shall beat because of you.
My eyes, see because of you.
My mind, think because of you.
And I shall love because of you. ….Inuit love song

DAVID PETERSON: On Marriage…….

The meaning of marriage begins in the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving. We can join one another only by joining the unknown. In life, in the world, we are never given two known results to choose between, but only one result: That we choose without knowing what will be.

Because the condition of marriage is worldly and its meaning mutual, no one party to it can be solely in charge. What you alone think it ought to be, it is not going to be. Where you alone think you want it to go, it is not going to go. It is going where the two of you - and where marriage, time, life, history and the world -- will take it. You do not know the road; you have committed your lives to a way. …. Wendell Berry

In marriage above all, be wise; choose character before means, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body. Then you have a spouse, a friend, a companion, a true second self. ….William Penn

It takes years to marry completely two hearts, even of the most loving and well intentioned. A happy wedlock is a long falling in love. Young persons think love belongs only to the glossy-haired and crimson-cheeked. So it does, for its beginning. But the golden marriage is a part of love which the bridal day knows nothing of.

Such a large and sweet fruit is a complete marriage, that it needs a long summer to ripen in, and then a long winter to mellow and season it. But a really happy marriage of love and judgment between a noble man and woman is one of those things so very handsome that, if the sun were a God, he might stop the world and hold it still now and then in order to look all day long and feast his eyes on such a spectacle. …Theodore Parker

Do not settle for the old smooth prizes,
But seek rough new ones.
Here are the days that must happen to you: ---
You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hands all that you earn or achieve.
However convenient your dwelling,
You shall not remain there.

However sheltered your port,
And however calm the waters,
You shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality offered you,
Receive it but a little while. Then,
Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before you,
The long bright path before you, leading wherever you choose.

Say to one another:
Friend, I give you my hand!
Say I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself before my calling?.
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live? …Walt Whitman

Now, some short bits of "advice:"

Cheer up, make yourself useful, mind your manners, avoid self-pity; those are the four unspoken wedding vows here in Lake Wobegon --Garrison Keillor

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight! --Phyllis Diller

In marriage, every day you love, and every day you forgive. It is an ongoing sacrament -- love and forgiveness ---Bill Moyers

And what of marriage?
You are together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
Stand together, yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the pine grow not in each other's shadow.
… Kahlil Gibran

Now speaking personally: This is a day of great happiness for us because you have both had the wonderful good fortune to have met and come to know each other and to share a fulfilling and compassionate love. Rachel, as our beloved daughter, you have brought untold joy into our lives. Roger, as our new family member, we know you will do the same; we have already come to think of you, not as an in-law, but truly as our second son. Our readings today have tended to address marriage as a journey. Together, we wish you a long and happy voyage. Godspeed!
- - -David Peterson

As prepared for the service by Rachel and Roger:

The prayer:

Gracious God, we ask your blessings upon Rachel and Roger who begin their lives us husband and wife today. Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life.... that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow and a companion in joy............. AMEN

We pray, too, for all who have brought them to this moment in their lives by their loving examples. For their faithfulness and love, bless them with your grace and peace......... AMEN

We pray for those who could not be physically present today but who are with us in love and prayers. May their love be returned many times over....... AMEN

We pray in loving memory for those who have passed on yet who surround us still with their care...... AMEN

Gracious God, make their lives together a light in this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. Bestow upon them, if it is your will, the gift and heritage of children. Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others..... AMEN


The vows:

All that I am, and all that I have, I offer to you with love and with joy.
I, (Rachel/Roger) take you, (Roger/Rachel) to be my (husband/wife) from this day forward.
I will love and comfort you,
Hold you close,
Cherish the safe place that we have made,
Prize you above all others,
And remain faithful to you all the days of our lives.

The ring:

I give you this ring as an outward sign of all that I hold in my heart
I give you this ring as I give you my love.

LYDIA PETERSON: On Unity…..

The Passionate Shepherd To His Love - - by Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers and a kirtle
Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle:
A gown made of the finest wool,
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold:
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.
The shepherd swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning;
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

My True-Love Hath My Heart - - by Sir Phillip Sidney

My true-love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange one for another given:
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven:
My true-love hath my heart, and I have his.
His heart in me keeps him and me in one,
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:
He loves my heart, for once it was his own,
I cherish his because in me it bides:
My true-love hath my heart, and I have his.

Whenever I - - by Vicki Joy Nash

Whenever I hear a beautiful sound
It's your voice that I hear
Whenever I smell a beautiful scent
I know that you are near
Whenever I play a beautiful tune
The music we both share
Whenever I see a beautiful sight
I look to find you there
Whenever I have a beautiful dream
My night was shared with you
Whenever I think a beautiful thought
My memories are of you.

SCHEDULE - 11:00 - 11:45
- Friends/Family enter
- Roger/Mom enter to Vivaldi's Concerto for two trumpets in C major
- Bianca enters to Purcell's trumpet intro for one of the sections of Come Ye Sons of Art.
- Rachel/Dad enter to Purcell's "Come Ye Sons of Art" (two tenors, titled piece).
- Jim Welcomes all
- R&R light candelabras for friends and family
- Dad reads.............
- Mom reads.............
- Dad closes readings...............
- Jim speaks......................
- Jim reads our prayer, asks if we are ready for our vows
- R&R exchange vows
- Roger plays, "Serenade for my Bride"
- Jim blesses the rings
- R&R exchange rings
- Lydia reads two poems..........
- R&R light Unity Candle
- Jim pronounces us married.....
- Greet guests and leave church to Vivaldi's Trumpet Tune ("The Cebell").

Note: Readings are in some cases adaptations of the originals. Rev. Standard's opening greeting, homily, and wedding service are not included here since they were not available in print form. A tape recording of the service includes these remarks. End.

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